Death within reach
by ix3Kiwi
Summary: Bella's suicide attempt fails, but her effort is not in vain. Good news; death is within reach, she has one year left to live. A lot can happen during a year though, and she might just find a reason to want to live.
1. Seducing death

Bella seems to have everything; family, money, intelligence, and beauty. Everything but happiness and a purpose for her existence which leads to a deep depression.

So she decides to die, and takes and overdose of sleeping pills.

To her great dismay, she is to wake up one week later at the hospital. One news cheers her up, though. Death is within reach, only 1 year away.

But during this period, she finds the reason of her existance, along with other emtions she has never felt before. Against all odds, she finds herself falling in love and wanting, if at all posible, to live again .

_A __dying man needs to die as a sleepy man needs to sleep, and there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless, to resist._

CHAPTER 1 - Seduced by death .

Bella's POV .

I unscrewed the small bottle and spilled it's contents on the bed. Pills fell out and spread everywhere. I collected the pills and put them next to the glass of water on the table.

Inhaling deeply, I took one last glance around my room and breathed out again. It was a very beautiful room; white carpet, celing and walls. The furnitures were simple, but elegant at the same time. The whole room looked inviting and gave the impression of warmth. It was my mom who had designed the room, my real mom.

She had died in a car accident when I was only 3. My dad meant I needed a mother figure in my life, so he re-married. Unfortunately for me, my step mom semeed to be sent straight from the deepest pit of hell to make my life miserable. The only reason why she had married him was bcause of his money. My family was rich, my dad was a lawyer and worked in a very respected and famous company. My step mom treated me as a slave, literally. And if I didn't do as she said, she would become violent.

It was almost ironic, my dad re-married because he thought it would be the best for me. Instead, it turned out to be the exact opposite. How funny.

I seemed to have everything; family, money, intelligence, and for many I was beautiful. But my life was so meaningless without any form of happiness at all. It repeated itself every single day.

So for years I have lived this life, if it can be called a life. There was no purpose for my existence, no point in it. Didn't everyone live for some form of purpose ? Wasn't they brought to this very world because they had some kind of destiny or fate to follow ? At birth, we are given a reason for our existence.

But where was _mine_ ? It seemed as if I was brought to this world as a nobody, a burden.

As I thought these thoughts, the pills on the table seemed almost tempting. I reached out and grabbed one pill and the glass of water, but instead of crushing the pill to pulver and mix it with the water, I swallowed it whole.

I wanted to make this moment last, there was always a gap between intention and action, and I wanted to be able to turn halfway back if I would be to regret.

But with each pill I swallowed, the desire to fulfill grew and craved to be accomplished. My doubts slightly perished and was replaced with determination.

I WOULD accomplish.

One by one, the pills disappeared, and the glass was drained of water .

I lay back on the bed and closed my eyes, waiting for death. I had not thought of how long it would take for the pills to affect my body, so I just waited as time passed by.

The seconds blended into mintues, and the minutes into hours. But eventually I could feel it, the sleepiness that was about to take over me. The deepest sleep of them all, and I knew that as soon at is has caught me, I would be unable to escape. To ever to wake up again.

But I wasn't scared, I wasn't about to try to escape. I was actually eager for it to capture me and take me to prison, I yearned for it. I placed my arm over my heart to feel my heart beat it's last beats.

Slowly, but surely, it stopped. The blackness trapped me and pulled me under.

I drifted and I drifted.

And I did not re-surface .


	2. Green Eyes

A/N :

Err, I've been looking for a story I read some time ago, but now I can't find it.

It was something about Edward left and never came back again, Bella changes her appearance completely ( wears miniskirts, tight tops, dyes her hair blonde and wear contacts to change her eye color ) and begins to work as a teacher. But then, one day Edward is the new pupil at the school .

Help is highly appreciated oo .

Enjoy the chapter .

--

Let us then, be up and doing. With a heart for any fate; Still achieving, still pursuing, Learn to labor and to wait.

CH2 – Green eyes .

A bright light stubbornly fought it's way through my eyelids. I squeezed them shut and desperately tried to cling myself to the numbness that sleep generously dealt me when sleeping, but it avoided me. Rejected, I slowly opened my eyes and yawned heavily.

I blinked a few times as my eyes adjusted and the the room came into focus; I was in an unfamilar room with white floor and yellow walls with a hint of mint green. Two paintings hung on the wall and tried to lighten the room, but failed miserably. How sad .

Something tugged on my hand. Annoyed, I turned my head and gasped, almost fainting.

An IV .

My head began to spin and I had to fight to remain conscious. I could hear the desperate gasps for air through my lips, but it seemed as if my lungs couldn't breath in enough oxygen. Blackness began to embrace me in a claustrophobic way, making everything even worse.

It felt as if a hand was clutching my stomach, blocking the entrance to my lungs and refusing me air. The intacts decreased, by now it was impossible to even drag in a small amount of air.

The door slammed open and the noise scattered through the silence. A doctor stormed into the roon, dragging an oxygen machine with him. He placed the mask over my face and ordered me to breath in deep drags.

I gladly obeyed immediately.

" In, out, in out ", his voice was soothing, but I could hear an edge to it.

Eventually my breathing slowed to a normal pace. I loosened my hands from the edges of the bed and relaxed. My chest rose and sunk in a steady rhythm.

" Welcome back from your coma, Miss Swan. " The doctor said. " An overdose of sleeping pills doesn't seem like a good way to commit suicide, now does it ? "

I blinked. _Huh ?_

" Oh .. " I breathed as realization hit me.

" Yes, oh " the doctor answered. " But, I have some bad news for you. They may seem like good ones for you, though. "

He inhaled deeply " due to all the pills you swallowed in your attempt to commit suicide, your heart is seriously damaged. That may lead to times where you'll have difficulties with breathing. You'll be given a respirator which you are obligated to carry with you all the time. "

I stared at him incrediously. Which part of 'suicide' didn't he get? The meaning of suicide is to end one's own life. Being unable to breath seemed as the perfect way to reach my goal. It was natural and I didn't have to do anything.

" Now, don't give me that look, I know what you're thinking. But I still have one last news for you. " He said and looked at my sharply.

"The damage of your heart is also so serious that your life is shorted and limited; one year to be precise, so please think it through carefully before you make any decisions. Be smart and use the respirator, think of your family and friends. " The doctor sighed and looked me straight in the eyes.

" Your family is outside, waiting for you. They've been sick with worry, may I inform. "

I snorted.

_Sure they've been._

--

Yesterday was hell, my step mom was even worse than before and screamed like a maniac; not that she wasn't one before. My whole back was covered in bruises; layers on layers, and I barely got away alive. She didn't even considerate that I just came home from the hospital. My life seemed even more miserable than ever.

The respirator weighted in my pocket. I took it out, and without even considering the doctor's words in the hospital, threw it in the trasher outside the music store before entering it.

Music was one of the very few things I actually enjoyed. When listening to music I actually relaxed, something I rarely did. I loved music, and I usually listened to songs with lyrics I could relate to.

I walked down the rows of CDs and stopped at the section in the middle. My eyes scanned through the CDs for something new, and stopped as they spotted the newest Evanescence CD. It wa sonly one left. I mentally did the victory dance and reached out for it.

A white hand flashed out at the same time for the same CD and bumped into mine. My head snapped up and I looked into the most beautiful pair of eyes I've ever seen.

They were deep and beautiful with the color of green. I felt myself being lost in them, it felt as if I could look into them forever without reaching the end. They had no end.

He coughed.

I blushed furiously and tore my eyes from him. He had to think I was an idiot with mental problems or something. Heart problems maybe, but there was nothing wrong with my head.

" Hello " he said in a musical voice and pulled one of the corners of his lips into a crooked smile. I lost my lead of thought.

" Err .. " I said and shook my head. He laughed an enchanting laughter. _Wow_.

" My name is Edward Cullen " He said and offered one of his hands to shake.

" Isabella Swan, but call me Bella " I said as I accepted his greeting and smiled up on him.

_WOAH_.

I blinked a few times as I took in his face. He was handsome, very handsome with perfect features. His reddish brown hair was a chaotic disarray and fell down over his eyes ... I tried not to look at them more than necessarily, afraid of losing myself again.

" You can have it " he said .

" Huh ? " I stared at him, bewildered.

" The CD, you can have it . " He smiled down at me. Oh .

" No no, you can have it " I answered.

He shook his head. " No, I insist, you take it " .

" No, no " I picked up the CD and shoved it into his hands. " I insist. "

He looked at me with an uncertain expression on his perfect face.

" Really . " I said as I began to back away.

" Thanks " He shouted as I reached the exit of the shop..

" I can't believe you took it " I shouted back at him as I walked out of the store, a smile playing on my lips. I caught a glimpse of him smiling in the glass of the store.

A strange warm feelings was filling me, someting I hadn't felt in a long time, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

And then, everything went black and I couldn't breath.


End file.
